75 Things My Mom Taught Me
I remember it like it was almost yesterday. My mom and I stood at the top of the stairs of my childhood home and, like many angsty teens, I was crying.
The funny thing is that I don’t fully remember what I was crying about. A relationship. A disappointment. A standard I couldn’t quite attain. My mom probably remembers —she remembers everything. But what I do remember? My mom standing there hugging me, allowing me the time and space to process my emotions, not only without judgement, but with compassion and unconditional love. She taught me it was okay to cry, that it was okay to have all the feelings, even if meant smearing mascara on her shirt.
Love & Tears
Who knew those two things would wrap around so much of my life, that they could coexist, that they’re both okay and be given space to be expressed. My mom taught me that. And it’s a good thing, because my mom has cancer. And where there is cancer, there are bound to be tears.
Today, as I type these words, I’m a thousand miles away but I know our days are filled with much the same —love and tears. Love because we’re family, though I know many families who aren’t defined by love.
But our family is, and much of our love was born out of hers
My mom introduce me to the greatest love –the unconditional love of the One who created me, the One who sustains me, the One who rescues and restores. I didn’t fully understand what she was doing that day I stood sobbing on her shoulder. But it was through everyday moments like that, conversations we had, observing her as she lived her life that I learned everything she does flows from her relationship with Jesus.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Proverbs 31:30, NIV
Mom was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma eighteen months ago. A little over a year ago, we celebrated the end of her treatment. A short month later, we received the all-to-typical-but-still-devastating news that the cancer was still there, and it was much worse than we ever imagined. I won’t go into all the details but let’s just say, as many of you know, cancer is an insidious monster that sneaks and hides and devours.
With grace and dignity, Mom battled the beast. Fueled by the passionate love for my dad and our family, she continued the fight. Even though there were days, probably more than we know, when she wanted the pain and sickness to end, she perseveres. Some days the fight looks like chemo, other it’s embracing the time she has with the people she loves. Like my dad. My brother. Our families. Her friends.
At this point you may be wondering where I’m going with this. Is this a preamble to an obituary (no, my mom is still very much alive)? Is this an update (nope, my parents are both fairly private people)? So, what am I doing here?
I’m celebrating my mom.
I’m sharing her with you because, chances are, you may never meet, and I think she is someone you need to know. In celebration of her recent 75th birthday, I decided to celebrate her the best way I know how —with my words.
So in honor of her, and in no particular order, here are 75 things my mom taught me.
1. Making your bed every day gives you a sense of accomplishment first thing in the morning.
2. Folding that dreaded fitted sheet is possible —and keeps the closet organized (is that two?).
3. Read the Bible every day.
4. Clean one room at a time and soon the whole house will be clean.
5. Refreshing the decor of a room doesn’t always mean buying new things —sometimes it’s just about rearranging what you already have.
6. Grilled cheese is best with a glass of milk. (She taught me how to grill cheese, too, of course.)
7. Veggies are good —so eat them.
8. Liver, not so much, so you don’t have to eat it anymore. (Yay!)
9. Balance is the key to a healthy life.
10. You can enjoy most anything in moderation.
11. Talk to God first thing in the morning, every day.
12. When you talk to God, be sure to pray for others, too.
13. It’s okay to write in your Bible, especially people’s names.
14. Build lasting friendships with other women.
15. Mascara washes out of clothes.
16. Sometimes the best thing to do is to say nothing.
17. Laugh. A lot.
18. Tea makes everything better.
19. Paint your nails.
20. Wear the expensive perfume.
21. Look beautiful for your husband.
22. Be comfy in your clothes —and your body.
23. Reading is important.
24. Your husband (spouse) comes before the kids.
25. Create a warm and inviting home.
26. Remember when your parents visit, they want to see you, not necessarily a clean house (though see #25).
27. Don’t buy the bathing suit that doesn’t fit just because you like it (and don’t swear at your mom if you don’t get it. Yes, there’s a story there. No, I’m not telling it just yet.)
28. Ferris wheels are scary —and sometimes it’s okay to swear about it (just not at your mom. See #27).
29. People grow and change all throughout life
30. Everyone has a story (she said this long before it was an in-thing to say).
31. There’s a story behind people’s actions (she said this, too, long before it was acknowledged).
32. Listen well.
33. Be a good hostess.
34. Be a good guest —bring flowers or a small gift for the hostess.
35. Clean one room each day and your house will be clean.
36. Your husband isn’t supposed to be your everything, find good friends.
37. Sometimes when you’re angry it’s because you’re hungry. Eat something.
38. Sometime when you’re angry it’s because your tired. Take a nap.
39. Bake instead of fry.
40. Sometimes there are crumbs on the counter that you can’t see.
41. Go where your husband leads, even when it’s hard.
42. Believe the best in people.
43. Go on trips with your girlfriends.
44. Study God’s Word with others.
45. Find a church that builds community and loves Jesus.
46. Let your daughter cry even if that means you get mascara on your clothes (see #15).
47. Parents can and do love unconditionally.
48. Parents support you unconditionally, but they will express their opinions.
49. Respect your parents, even when you’re far away.
50. Big bubbles in hot water means the water is boiling.
51. Traditions create memories.
52. Memories bind families together.
53. A mother’s love doesn’t end when a child leaves the home.
54. A grandmother’s love doesn’t end even when a grandchild dies.
55. Love conquered fear.
56. Patience is a hard-won virtue.
57. Patience is tiring. Be patient anyway.
58. Tea is good for stomach aches (see #18).
59. Tea is good for heartaches (see #58).
60. Eat dinner in the dining room with the good china.
61. Wine can be enjoyed on special occasions (see #10).
62. Don’t drink alcohol if it makes you feel sad.
63. When decorating, group items in odd numbers.
64. Antiques are awesome.
65. Even people of great age can start something new.
66. Everyone’s story impacts how they act (see #31).
67. Don’t judge a person by his or her actions.
68. Kindness goes a long way.
69. Encouragement makes a heart glad.
70. Pack snacks for road trips.
71. Go on road trips with your daughter.
72. Every family has their issues.
73. God is bigger than every issue.
74. Counseling helps.
75. Jesus loves you, no matter what.
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Bethany LaShell | 20th Nov 20
What a beautiful tribute to your mom!
kfindlay | 30th Nov 20
Thank you!